Resilience – How to Deal with Failure
Let’s go through an exciting story
One beautiful afternoon, a young man was walking in his garden when he saw a butterfly cocoon on a leaf. Thrilled to witness an amazing transformation of nature, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through a small hole in its cocoon.
After a while, it seemed that the butterfly had stopped making any progress. It took a lot of effort to get out! It seemed that it could not be freed. It sounded desperate! It seemed that it could go as far as it could, and could not go any further.
The kind man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and twisted the cocoon to make a large opening for the butterfly. The butterfly came out easily without any struggle. But unlike any other butterflies in her garden, she had a swollen body with short and withered wings.
The man was happy that he pulled the butterfly out of its cocoon without much struggle. He continued to watch the butterfly, hoping that, at any moment, the wings would dry up, enlarge and spread out to support the swollen body, which would shrink in time.
Unfortunately, neither its wings expanded nor the swollen body decreased. The butterfly crawled around with shriveled wings and a swollen body, never being able to fly for the rest of its life.
However, with good intentions, the man hindered the development of the butterfly. The constant effort of the butterfly to come out of its cocoon forced the fluid accumulated in the body to be converted into wings. The man, in his haste to help the butterfly, did not understand that the limited cocoon and struggle were the key to the beautiful body and wings of the butterfly.
Sometimes struggles and challenges are exactly what we need to grow in our lives. Like, the struggle to break out of the cocoon gives butterflies their beautiful wings, the struggle in our lives makes us strong and gives us wings to fly.
Write down what you learned from the story
What is Flexibility? Think and write your own definition in simple words.
Worksheet: How to become more Resilient
Section 1: Advising others
Write examples of people who hold back from adverse or difficult situations you see around them (could be your friend, neighbor, relative, or anyone you know)
What do you learn from their example? Or would you like to give them some tips to deal with their problems in a better way?
Part 2: Giving yourself advice
Have you ever faced any failure in life? If yes, then write your experience and how did you react to it.
If you had a chance to deal with that situation again, what would you do?
What would you do to make yourself more resilient for the future?
How to move on from failure?
Failure is nothing to worry about. Cultivating the ability to handle the situation is a challenge. Why is it that sometimes people can go through a really tough time and come back again? The difference is that those who bounce back are using the skill of resilience. Resilience is the ability to get out of difficult situations. How do you deal with failures? Here are some tips for becoming resilient in difficult situations. Please note that each person’s journey on the road to resilience will be different – what works for you may not work for your friends.
Take care of yourself:
Make yourself a priority. Invest in your physical and mental health. Spend time doing the things that make you happy. Have a purpose in life and enjoy working for that purpose.
Build a group of people who will always support you in your difficult times. Share your feelings with family or friends to feel better. Connect with your support system regularly and express yourself.
Have different options:
Don’t stick to one thing or one decision. Keep your mind and mind open to new ideas, places, people, and decisions. The more open you think, the better you feel
Asking for help when needed:
When it feels like you’re breaking up, it’s better to go to a psychologist or someone you trust to share your feelings. It’s totally okay to seek help whenever you feel emotionally weak or when you face a difficult situation.
Stay positive and always believe that things change with time. Don’t overthink about problems, keep looking for solutions, and this will be possible only if you believe that things will get better.
When: Before or after the session
How: Read the quotes below and write your opinion
Quotation 1 by Oprah Winfrey
"Challenges are gifts that force us to discover a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a different way to stand."
Quotation 2 by Albert Einstein
"He who never made a mistake never tried anything new."
Quotation 3 by Thomas Edison
"Many failures in life are people who didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
Quotation 4 by Steve Jobs
"Getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could ever happen to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of a restart. It allowed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life."
Quotation 5 by Steve Jobs
“You cannot connect the dots looking ahead; You can only connect them while looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will connect in some way or the other in your future. You have to rely on something—your gut, luck, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."